What your therapist won't tell you
by Ken Zaretzky, MCC
When I was in coaching school I learned that coaching involved action -- helping the client get from point A to point B. Many of my instructors frequently implied that if the client seemed sad or anxious or expressed any other feeling, they were to be referred to a therapist immediately. These “experts” firmly believed that only a licensed therapist was qualified to talk with a client about feelings.
I’ve had a lot of time to think about this theory. My conclusion? It’s a crock!
Anyone -- including a coach -- can talk to people about their feelings. These conversations are certainly not the secret private domain of therapists or any other professional for that matter.
Conventional wisdom in the coaching profession is that you can’t coach someone who has a DSM-IV diagnosis. But if this were true, I would never have helped a single client. ADHD is a DSM-IV diagnosis. All of my clients are diagnosed with a DSM-IV disorder.
Coaching gives people clarity, direction, support and a variety of other benefits. People diagnosed with a disorder such as bipolar illness or borderline personality disorder are as coachable as anyone else. They need clarity, direction and support just as much as anyone and they can get it from working with a coach. On the other hand, there are situations where a coach should refer clients to other professionals.
What coaches can't do is attempt or claim to cure or treat any form of illness, whether mental or physical. In situations where an illness IS the issue, a competent ethical coach will always refer to an appropriate professional whether that is a physician, therapist or social worker.
I've built my business in a large part by developing strategic alliances with quite a number of psychiatrists and neurologists as well as with some therapists. They refer a lot of clients to me. I always have a full practice. The other side of this is that I refer clients to them. I actually refer more clients to them than they refer to me. From a strictly business perspective this does two things.
First, it helps cement my relationship with them. It is clear that I am not a leach, here only to take from them. Referring clients to me is a win-win situation.
Second, it shows that I know my limitations. I know what a coach does and doesn't do. I respect the boundaries of other professionals who often share the same clientele.
Years ago, a psychiatrist friend of mine asked me if I had ever coached someone who was schizophrenic. I told him I had not. He asked if I’d be willing to try coaching one of his patients whose condition was well controlled with medication.
Of course the “NO, YOU CAN’T DO THAT” gremlin in my head was screaming as I remembered everything I had learned about mental illness and coaching. I told the doctor I didn’t think I could be helpful, but I would try.
In the year we worked together, that client was never late paying her bill and was never late to a coaching call. Not once.
Additionally, she was happier. She advanced in her career, got a better job, increased her earnings and took better care of herself. She even started dating. In short, she benefited from coaching in every way that anyone else could benefit .
But even as she received great benefit from coaching, she remained just as schizophrenic as she was the day we started. Luckily for her, the medication kept her disorder under control.
Coaching can’t cure any medical condition, whether it’s kidney stones or schizophrenia. It is important that coaches don’t even claim to be able to diagnose or treat any medical condition or illness of any kind. Only a medical professional can do that. But while most of us wouldn’t hesitate to coach a client who has kidney stones, why hesitate to coach a client who has a mental condition?
A word of caution: If you have a client who talks about committing suicide or is a threat to his or her own life or that of others, take immediate steps to ensure that client seeks care from a competent mental health professional.
As coaches, we are not quasi- or pseudo-therapists. We aren’t “paraprofessionals” or mental health workers. Coaching is an altogether different, unique and separate profession.
The conclusion? You CAN coach people with medical conditions. You CAN talk about feelings and emotions with your clients. You CAN’T diagnose, treat, cure or even claim to diagnose, treat or cure any medical condition or illness.
About the author:
This article was adapted from Ken Zaretzky's new book, How It's Done 101.